Here is a reality about life: just because people choose to label themselves a title, does not mean that they always agree with what that title might suggest.
A good example of this is politics. In the Unites States, there are Democrats, Republicans, Green Party, etc… It is a rare instance when I meet someone who believes the Democrat or Republican way of thinking through and through. There are always a few things that they differ in a certain political way of thinking.
I find this is often true in religion as well. I believe and agree with a lot of what my church teaches. But there are a few things that I struggle with and I find I cannot agree with at this point of my life. In fact, most Christians I talk to are in the same situation.
Where it differs for you and me is that, as ministry leaders, we represent the church we work and minister for.
Can I disagree with the church that I represent?
The short answer is yes. However, just because I disagree with a certain teaching does not mean I have the freedom to share those thoughts everywhere I go. I do have a responsibility to my church to represent its teachings accurately.
Am I a hypocrite if I accurately teach what the church holds to be truth even though I disagree with it?
Good question.
Over my ministry career, I have settled on a few strategies that have helped me stay true to my personal beliefs, but also honestly and accurately represent what the church teaches.
- Withhold my opinions at large group sessions that I am leading. Just because I am up front leading a discussion does not mean that I need to share my honest opinions all the time. I want those that I minister to to understand all sides of the issue. I want to accurately present what the church believes, but also promote dialogue, knowing that there are others in the room that might be struggling with a certain truth. I recognize that if I share my opinion, I can sway the way others think simply because I am the leader. People may value my opinion, but I really encourage others to be independent thinkers and not believe something just because I say it is true.
- Let others teach on the subject matter. Part of my role as a leader is to empower and equip other leaders to step up in ministry and take a lead. This may be a great opportunity to do that. When I disagree on a certain church teaching, I sometimes let other leaders take the lead.
- Be careful of what I say on social media. Just because my Facebook and Twitter accounts are personal accounts and not part of my official ministry position, people still know me as a ministry leader. Even on my blog, I have to choose how I represent myself carefully. No matter where I am on social media, I represent my church.
- Share my personal opinions with trusted friends or in a small group. I always share my true and honest opinions with those that are closest to me. I trust them and they understand where I am coming from. They may not agree with me, but there is an accountability that we have together. It is in these settings where I can truly explore the issue further and come to some clarity around what I believe. The youth night or bible study I am leading is not the appropriate place to do that.
I make it sound like this happens all the time. The fact is that there are many things I absolutely agree with what my church teaches. Even still, for the things that I disagree, there have been times that my mind has been changed. That is a part of life. As we grow and learn, we think differently about issues.
As ministry leaders, it is good to be cautious about how we represent our views, especially if we disagree with our church.
Question: What strategies do you use when you find yourself in this situation?
This is a really good post. Question: how have you handled the situation when a teen flat out asks you what your personal opinion is on a teaching you disagree with? Not in a group setting, but in a one on one moment.
As a youth minister, it is my job to speak for the Church. Therefore, if there were any matters of Church teaching with which I disagreed (there aren’t, or I wouldn’t have become Catholic, but hypothetically), when I am speaking with teens or parents either in groups or one-on-one, it is *critical* that I emphasize what the Church teaches, not what I think. This can be done in love and with great pastoral care, but it is not my opinions or ideas that matter here; I need to point to the Truth of Christ articulated by the Church.
Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard when someone asked about dealing with teens in this way was to say, no matter if it was a teaching you easily upheld or not, to be open to the teaching and to take it to the foot of the cross in prayer. No one can force you or a teen to believe something, but we are all called to be open to the Spirit – and as ministry leaders, we haven accepted the call to live in the Spirit and to point others to the Truth – even when we struggle. I actually think that, to some extent, it is good to let teens know that you struggle with certain teachings, that you are not perfect and are actively seeking the Truth and studying the tradition and the whys rather than blindly following a teaching you don’t understand. I would never tell a kid that it’s flat out OK to disagree with the Church (I personally think that leads down a dangerous road), and I agree with John that this is when you should pass the main teaching to someone else, but I would say to a teen that struggling is one way that our faith matures and deepens and that no one who actively sought the Truth was let down in the very end. And where do we find the Truth? At the foot of the cross, in prayer, in His eyes, in the Eucharist – in the very presence of God. The answer doesn’t just come from the Church – it comes from and through Jesus, so we should seek it in Him.
Katie, that’s awesome! The search for truth is a life-long process and I do agree that it models healthy faith and spirituality when we let people know that we struggle with a certain issue.
Thanks for a great response!
Hi Sergio, that is a great question. I sometimes like to ask the teen why my opinions matters to them. Even if I agree with the teaching, I like to still ask the question. It gets them to critically think about the issue. Also, I find out the motive to their question. Sometimes, a teen is looking for an adult to disagree with the church on an issue so that they have an excuse to disagree (and maybe act out on that disagreement). Other times, that’s not the case. The fact is that I don’t want them to believe or not believe in something because I say so. I want them to critically think about it for themselves.
It also depends on the relationship I have with the teen. Some teens are more mature and are prepared to enter into a serious discernment about the issue. If I have a good relationship with the teen, I might tell them the truth around my thoughts, especially if I think it will them enter into more of a dialogue.
I always present the caveat that I sometimes change my mind. As I get older and live longer, I find that I think differently about faith issues then I did when I was younger. That’s good. This is an opportunity to show the teen that you are a life long learner and that even when your become an adult, you still think heavily about faith issues.
This can be a great opportunity for dialogue. Less so if it is a junior high youth. Sometimes, if I don’t think they are ready for my opinion, I don’t share it with them.
Thanks for the reply john. Once again, great post!