I feel like I’ve done all the right things when it comes to managing my ministry. I’ve carefully explored new areas of growth without rushing into things. I’ve created a prioritization list of what is most important and impactful in my ministry. I’ve said “no” numerous times to people. I even created a “stop doing” list so that I could stop doing all the tasks I shouldn’t be doing.
So why do I still feel like I’m doing too much in my ministry? Why do I feel like I’m doing good things, but I haven’t quite landed on the great things I should be doing?
I love my current role as the Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministry for the Diocese of San Jose. I feel like my team and I have started some phenomenal initiatives to help churches, to develop leaders, and to develop new programs. I know I am doing good work.
Yet, in the back of mind, I feel like I’m not quite there. There’s more I can do. I can be more efficient with my time. I can be more effective in serving my Diocese.
Do you ever feel this way?
I’m starting to figure some of the reasons why I feel this way:
- I have a constructive spirit of discontent. Meaning, I’m never quite happy with the end product, even if others say it is excellent.
- I have surrounded myself with other leaders who do better ministry than I. That has challenged me to work harder and smarter.
- I listen to podcasts and read blogs that allow me to see my ministry from a different perspective, which helps me think outside of the box.
- I’m getting a bit older (not middle aged by any means) and I want to make sure that how I am spending my time is making a real difference.
- I play the comparison game. I see what other ministries or other leaders are doing and I think I am inadequate.
I think there are pro’s and con’s to the above bullets. I am in a constant mode of professional growth because of it. Yet, sometimes, I feel like the way I am thinking is unhealthy.
I don’t have any solutions or answers. This is just the way I feel sometimes. And it causes me to feel down on myself.
I do know this: there have been plenty of times where God has affirmed me for the work I do. I recognize God’s hand in my ministry and the impact it has had. That’s what keeps me going when I start to feel a little down.
In the end, I know I am truly called to be leading the ministry I am in right now. I just need that reminder from time to time.
Question: Do you ever feel this way? How do you manage that feeling?