OK, this is obscure data, from obscure, dated research reported on an obscure website, but, (with all those internety caveats out of the way…) It seems that the religious practice of the father of the family has significant play in determining the future attendance at or absence from church of the children.
I’m not gonna break out the numbers all here, but it seems that as “a child begins to move into that period of differentiation from home and engagement with the world “out there,” he (and she) looks increasingly to the father for his role model…” When kids see that church is a “women and children” thing, they will not have it confirmed as “grown-up” activity if the father is uninvolved… and. so, statistically, it doesn’t always stick.
How can we go about encouraging father involvement?
D. Scott Miller
D. Scott Miller is the dean of Catholic Youth Ministry bloggers which is a polite way of either saying that he is just plain old or has been blogging for a long time (since 2004.)
Scott recently married the lovely Anne and together they have five adult young people and also grandparent three delightful kids (so, maybe he is just plain old!) Scott presently serves at Saint John the Evangelist in Columbia, MD as the director of youth and young adult ministry.
He has previously served on the parish, regional, diocesan, and national levels as well as having taught within a catholic high school. He is one of the founders of RebuildMyChurch and has returned to posting regularly (keeping regular is important to old guys) at ProjectYM.
D. Scott Miller
D. Scott Miller is the dean of Catholic Youth Ministry bloggers which is a polite way of either saying that he is just plain old or has been blogging for a long time (since 2004.)
Scott recently married the lovely Anne and together they have five adult young people and also grandparent three delightful kids (so, maybe he is just plain old!) Scott presently serves at Saint John the Evangelist in Columbia, MD as the director of youth and young adult ministry.
He has previously served on the parish, regional, diocesan, and national levels as well as having taught within a catholic high school. He is one of the founders of RebuildMyChurch and has returned to posting regularly (keeping regular is important to old guys) at ProjectYM.
OK, this is obscure data, from obscure, dated research reported on an obscure website, but, (with all those internety caveats out of the way…) It seems that the religious practice of the father of the family has significant play in determining the future attendance at or absence from church of the children.
Maybe Youth Ministers, working with their parishes’ liturgy planning committees, could set up special Masses which specifically involve dads – followed up by some sort of special event like a breakfast or social outing. This will (hopefully) get dads in the door and reinforce their importance to their kids’ faith formation.
Of course, sometimes part of the challenge is getting dads involved in their kids’ lives in the first place. A number of the families in my parish community are single-parent households, where dad is nowhere to be seen. But that’s another conversation altogether…
Scott, this is a great question. One thing I’ve just started doing is having conversations with the dads of the guys in my small group. Nothing deep, just, “Hey this is me and who I am.” No agenda, just building a relationship with them. I want them to see me as a resource when they don’t know how to connect with their kid and a resource on how to connect with their kid. While inviting them to chaperone and participate in ministry is important, the first step is building a relationship with them first.
I think this theory is isn’t completely correct. If a mother is a strong figure in the household, then she can convince her children to go to church no matter who is or is not present. Even if the child doesn’t see a father at mass, there will always be a priest who can be a sort of father figure for that child. Regardless of who is present at mass, the child will still go. I know from personal experience that even though my father may not attend, my mother and I still make it to mass.
A father in my parish started a fathers-sons group that meets every other week, does blessing ceremonies, and is reading/talking about John Wooden’s “Pyramid of Success”. It’s been highly successful. I think this is THE critical issue for the Church. Especially among young adult men and highlighting their involvement.